4 ways to stay out of the boss's doghouse

A practice owner walks into the reception area to find his receptionist eating popcorn. Steamed, he really blows his stack?when she drops a piece of popcorn on the floor and doesn't pick it up. "Listen, you stupid [BLEEP]," he says. "You better pick up that [BLEEP] piece of popcorn."

The receptionist refuses, so the boss reaches down, picks up the piece of popcorn, and holds it within inches of her nose. "Now, you stupid [BLEEP], you better eat it," he yells, "or you're [BLEEP] fired, you stupid [BLEEP]."

Sadly, this is a true story—and there weren't any bleeps. I've been on the giving and receiving end of anger in the workplace, and those experiences left me cringing. After talking with colleagues who shared similar stories, I realized my case wasn't an isolated one. I surveyed managers and practice owners and asked for their thoughts on anger in the workplace. More than 70 respondents anonymously contributed their thoughts on workplace anger. Some answers were plaintive expressions of an underlying loneliness: "I want my staff members to acknowledge that they hear me" and "I need them to say my frustration is valid."

There were signs of an uncomfortable accord: "I try to control my anger, but often times, when I do that, I feel walked on." There was also a roster of unhappy words respondents used to describe their core feelings when pushed to the boiling point. Managers felt frustrated, and some reported feeling their employees were inappropriate, neglectful, ignorant, lacking, stupid, careless, insubordinate, disrespectful, disobedient, and blaming.

Nearly 30 percent of respondents admitted to yelling at an employee in front of his or her peers, and 50 percent acknowledged they had lost their temper with a staff member behind closed doors. More than 40 percent of respondents believed their outbursts were justified. And while 66 percent of managers said there were serious repercussions to workplace outbursts, another 7 percent agreed it was "the only way to get through to some people." Perhaps most surprising was the consensus of 59 percent who believed that it was the work conditions specific to the veterinary industry that were the seminal cause of these angry instances.

So if you've ever been the focus of a fuming outburst from your boss, you might take solace in knowing it's not all you. Though you may identify yourself as the target or your employer may identify you as the trigger, the smoking gun was most likely locked and loaded long before you arrived.

A look at law

For the legal implications of anger in the veterinary workplace, I went to Matthew Blit of Levine and Blit, one of New York City's top employment law firms and the go-to employment law expert for the New York Post and New York Daily News. I asked whether he agreed with the 59 percent of respondents who believed veterinary clinic have volatile atmospheres. His answer: "I agree 100 percent."

"People in the medical profession experience more stress than those employees in other work settings simply because the stakes are higher," he says. "Veterinary practices employ caring individuals. And when lives they care about are on the line, raw emotions are more likely to surface."

Then I asked if these explosive outbursts had legal consequences.

"There's no law against getting angry," he says. "Employers can get red in the face, jump up and down, and yell at employees all they want. The line is crossed when the behavior can be linked to discrimination. If the outburst contains language or actions that imply discrimination because of gender, race, religion, age, or sexual orientation, or if it's a retaliation for some kind of whistle-blowing activity, then the event can be cause to pursue a legal claim. Any singular incidence of a discriminatory act in the workplace can be the spark that leads to a discussion with an attorney and a potential lawsuit."

In the case we examined earlier, an employer explodes when his receptionist fails to pick up a piece of popcorn she dropped. This case went to court, and the prosecution argued that one of the profane words, commonly used to refer to a female dog, was discriminatory. But the court found that the word wasn't used in a discriminatory fashion. The boss won—minus the thousands he spent defending himself in the case.

Since it's not against the law to yell at employees, you're probably wondering how you can protect yourself. The first step is to try to help your employer understand the profound negative effects of workplace outbursts.

Consider this: 90 percent of the cases brought against employers are brought by employees who had a history of feeling disrespected or mistreated by management, Blit says. "These are the employees who may be so incensed by an incident at work that they will seek the advice of an attorney or a labor board," he says. "Having a good, respectful relationship with your team members can go a long way in reducing the chances of trouble evolving out of an isolated, angry event."

One step Blit encourages is for medical professionals to take more breaks. He says getting away from the stress or talking about what's occurring in the practice, whether it's a hospitalized pet that's doing poorly or a surgery case that didn't go well, can reduce the chances that someone will get to the place where an outburst is likely. This advice works well for both employers and team members.

When the bark has bite

Joel Mausner, PhD, leads Workplace Psychology, a consortium of consultants that helps leaders become better leaders. He found many of the aspects of the survey interesting.

"That nearly 30 percent of leaders admitted to losing their temper in public areas of the workplace and another 50 percent behind closed doors represents a serious problem in those workplaces," he says. "Losing one's temper in public is virtually never justified and will always lead to bad repercussions, primarily with morale. Certainly, leaders are justified in feeling angry or telling an employee that they are angry provided it is done in a controlled manor. But a demonstration of anger is almost never helpful."

He said that in some rare cases, you can use a planned, controlled, and constructive demonstration of anger in private with the employee as a way of awakening the employee to the manager's perspective. But these occasions are rare. Coaching by a professional can help a manager get the hang of how to do this constructively.

I asked Mausner if he believed respondents were justified in saying the veterinary industry lent itself to a more volatile atmosphere. He agreed.

"I see the same thing when I work with not-for-profit organizations," he says. "In both cases, employees are often working in high-stakes situations where not only the job is an issue, but also principles and ideologies that are deeply personal to the employees. Their work is more than work. It's an extension of core beliefs."

Duck and cover

When tempers spark, team members may not have time to take cover before the eruption. And these public displays can be embarrassing for both the target and witnesses.

"Employees find a public remonstration of their behavior profoundly humiliating," Mausner says. "As managers, it's our job to get what we refer to as discretionary effort from our team. That's the difference between the level of effort required to simply get by or make do and the effort you're capable of bringing to the job. We want our team members to put their heart and soul into their roles. A public outburst of temper is an assured saboteur to such an environment. It's toxic to morale, and for bystanders it can be intimidating and even terrifying."

So the question remains: What can we do to put a lid on our hot heads?

"The first and key step is to understand that workplace outbursts create a vicious cycle of demotivation," Mausner says. "The manager may see short-term benefits that last 24 to 48 hours. People return to their workspaces, do some work, and put things in order. But longer term, outbursts create such workplace toxicity that the managers themselves tend to end up more miserable than they were before their outburst. It's helpful to understand that demonstrations of anger in the workplace are not bad because they are immoral or merely wrong, but simply because they are invariably counter-productive."

The survey showed a wide range of reasons why managers lose their temper, Mausner says. Triggers are unique to each person, so it's important to realize that the workplace or the employee isn't the whole cause of the outburst. It's also a trigger for something deeper and personal.

"Managers need to ask themselves, 'Why is my hot button, my hot button?'" Mausner says. "Usually this is a challenging journey and is better undertaken with help."

Team members can use some effective tools to ease tension when tempers run high. For example, when you're in the cross hairs, Mausner says you can defuse a situation by showing that you're listening and that you're sorry the manager is upset. On the other hand, he discourages engaging in the argument or remonstrating against your superior—steps he says are never successful to put an end to the outburst.

Another interesting takeaway from the survey: Most managers said their frustration stemmed from feelings of isolation. And many, because of that awareness, have devised coping methods that stopped them from acting out impulsively. Things as simple as walking away, taking a break, or counting to 10 can give you some perspective. Many also extolled the benefits of discussing the situation with a fellow management team member or a friend outside of the workplace as a way of gaining control and understanding the situation. These steps can also be very effective for team members who need help putting a lid on their own anger.

Stop howling and start talking

Now that we understand that the veterinary workplace may be the chief instigator behind many office outbursts, we can see the importance of basic communication tools. These include mission statements, job descriptions, and regular review sessions between management and team members. Unfortunately, in many practices, these tools are often absent or unused. The irony is that while managers and practice owners say they don't have time to implement these methods for formal, regular, and safe communication, their time is often consumed by discord and outbursts.

With so many in agreement that workplace anger is destructive and so many left unhappy in its wake, this leaves fertile ground for team members to step up and suggest a change.

If you're a manager, this may be the problem you solve that proves a turning point for your hospital.

If you're a client care representative or technician, this may be the first leadership step you take that moves you into a larger and potentially more fulfilling role in your veterinary practice. There's never been a better day than today to get started.

Bash Halow, CVPM, LVT, is the hospital administrator at Princeton Animal Hospital and Carnegie Cat Clinic in Princeton, N.J. He's also president of Halow Consulting, a group of advisors who work with veterinary practices to discover affordable options for team building. Share your own experiences with workplace anger at dvm360.com/community.