The cost of caring

Dr. Heather LewellenIt's a devastating diagnosis for you. There is no vaccine for it. It can sneak up on you without warning. Compassion fatigue. It happened to me and I know I am not alone.

As a fresh face coming out of veterinary school, I wanted to save the world. Didn't we all? I didn't wake up one day and not care anymore; it was a gradual thing. Death by a thousand cuts-a difficult euthanasia here, a client yelling at me there. I practiced small-animal medicine for nine years, one of them in emergency medicine. For nine years I bled out slowly until I had nothing left to bleed. 

The end result for me was that I didn't care at all anymore. I didn't have the energy or desire to act as the pet's advocate anymore. If I recommended something that was in the best interest of the pet and the owner declined, I would just shrug and say, “OK.” That is no way to practice veterinary medicine and I knew it. And that is why I left practice.

The conundrum is that the type of people who are called to the healing professions, who thrive and do well at them, also tend to be the type of people who are prone to developing compassion fatigue. Since I left practice, I have heard from several of my classmates who were considering leaving practice. I think they are all still practicing. I understand that a career can be like a relationship with its ups and downs. 

As someone who has been there, in the trenches, if I could give you one piece of advice, it would be that it is absolutely crucial that you learn how to put some kind of insulation between you and the patient and client. I used to think “No! No insulation. If I am emotionally insulated from them, then I am not a good veterinarian.” Well, look how that turned out.

I have since learned about and have practiced setting emotional boundaries, but what a challenging thing! I don't think I would want to do that all day at work again. People still ask me all the time if I miss practice and if I'd ever go back into practice. And I have to be honest. The answer is, “If it was the same as it was when I was practicing previously? Then no.”