When the holidays hurt

Like Dr. Jessica Vogelsang, who wrote here last month (“Let's pull each other back from the brink,” November 2014), I was left sad and empathetic when news broke of Dr. Sophia Yin's suicide. Since adolescence, I have struggled with anxiety and depression. I know how a successful, brilliant person like Dr. Yin could think about ending her own life-and then do it.

So, forget business, and let's talk about life. Right now I want to raise a red flag in practices nationwide.

For many of us, holidays mean warm hugs, family dinners and gifts from the heart. For others, the holidays mean tearful memories of those who've died, stressful contact with family members we'd prefer to keep at arm's length, and high expectations from family, from society and from yourself: “You're not happy? You're not enjoying yourself? What's wrong with you?”

What can we do? Care for ourselves and others, be generous of spirit in judging others' pain and be willing to reach out and help, even if someone is too scared, too hurt or too proud to ask for it. Here's a little advice from Jill Harkavy-Friedman, PhD, VP of research for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, on recognizing and learning to help yourself or others with depression and suicidal thoughts.

Warning signs

When people are depressed, visible warning signs include:

> down mood

> irritability or lack of interest

> changes in sleep or appetite (either up or down)

> low energy

> feelings of worthlessness, failure and/or humiliation

> talk about suicide or not wanting to be around anymore

> increased use of alcohol and other substances.

Sometimes the changes are hard to see if you're not looking, so it's helpful to engage in a mental health check regularly for yourself and your family, friends and even co-workers.

“If you're concerned about someone, ask how they're doing and whether they're feeling all right,” Harkavy-Friedman says. “Let them know you've noticed a change or are concerned. Asking about suicide will not make someone suicidal if they do not already have those thoughts. Usually people feel relieved if you are respectful and compassionate.”

Professional counselors also can help, she says. They have the education and resources to help people solve life problems and mental health conditions.

In a crisis or emergency, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Crisis workers are trained to help are and they are engaged because they want to save lives.

Resources

For more, visit dvm360.com/mentalhealth or the links below for an evolving list of resources, including:

> A heartfelt letter-a bit of a pep talk-from a Veterinary Economics reader on the topic

> Videos with former practice owner and now-speaker Dr. Steve Noonan on depression and what helps him

> More resources about suicide and talking to someone you're worried about.

Be safe this holiday season. Don't be rough on yourself or others. And remember, if you're hurting, you're not alone. It's time you reached out for a helping hand.