7 steps to intense conversations

What intense conversations are you avoiding? Use these seven steps to uncover the discussions that will change your life:

Identify the issue. Ask yourself, What conversation or issue am I avoiding? What instinctive responses am I ignoring? To whom do I need to apologize? Who deserves my praise? Where and with whom am I failing to be authentic?

Name the behavior. What exactly is the behavior that bothers me or is harming the workplace? How long has it been a problem? How bad is the situation?

Tally up the effect. What results does the situation produce? When I consider how the situation affects myself and others, how do I feel?

Examine the implications for the future. If nothing changes, what's going to happen? What's at stake for me or my team?

Note your role. How have I contributed to the problem? Did I raise my voice to a coworker and need to apologize now? Did I communicate in an unclear way?

State the intended outcome. When the issue is resolved, what difference will it make? What results will others enjoy? When I imagine the resolution, how do I feel?

Execute your strategy. What's the most potent step I can take to create resolution? What might get in the way, and how will I get past it? When will I take this step?