Helping clients understand the anatomy of a bill

Mr. Quibble's dog was scheduled for surgery last Thursday. On Wednesday, he showed up at my office for a chat. Apparently, there were some "very important matters" that he needed to discuss with me.

He had a copy of our estimate for the surgery and was holding it up to the light as if he could see through it.

"I don't understand these charges of yours, Doctor," he said as he squinted at the paper. I must have been in a mischievous mood, because I walked over to the X-ray viewer, turned it on, and asked, "Will this help?"

He wasn't amused.

"I hope we can put our heads together and settle the matter of this bill," he said. "I'm sure we can work something out."

I pointed out that all items on the estimate were necessary to do the procedure properly and safely. Surprisingly, he did not disagree. "Of course, I would not want you to skip anything important, Doctor," he said. "I just feel that I should be getting a little more for the money, that's all."

What did he want? Should I use gold sutures? Should I fix the problem twice, or remove something extra while I'm in there? He reminded me of a client that I told you about a few months ago, Mrs. Haggle. She saw everything that I recommended to her as a topic for negotiation. Unfortunately for her, and for Mr. Quibble, I have a system in place that keeps me from ever losing a negotiation. I refuse to participate.

These clients remind me of a quote from that famous European veterinarian Count Receivable, who said, "There is no correlation between what your clients want for their pets, and what they are willing to pay for it."

"You know, Doctor," Mr. Quibble continued. "I don't want to cut any corners when it comes to the health of my dog, Lord Moneysworth. You may not be aware of it, but he comes from a long line of champions."

I was, in fact, familiar with the dog's storied lineage. His mother was a grand champion with an impressive list of victories in her dog show career. His father had a noteworthy career as well. Though he was the product of unknown ancestry, he was the undisputed grand champion of neighborhood impregnation. All this served to make Lord Moneysworth a representative of my favorite breed of pooch, the "All American Bowwow."

You see, as far as I am concerned, ancestry is of no importance when it comes to medical, surgical or pricing decisions. I treat the patient, not the pedigree. So, in review, let me summarize my philosophy by saying, "A dog is a dog, and a bill is a bill." That is exactly what I told Mr. Quibble. Unfortunately, he wasn't getting the message. In spite of my somewhat obvious attitude, he still thought that we were going to "crunch the numbers" together.

I, on the other hand, was ready to get back to work. So, after telling him that there was nothing to discuss further, I sent him on his way. Before going though, he had just on more thing to tell me.

"You know, Doctor," he said. "You seem to have developed a reputation for not changing your prices for people. I heard that from a very good client of yours, who happens to be my sister, Mrs. Haggle."

I should have suspected as much.

Dr. Obenski owns Allentown Clinic for Cats in Allentown, Pa.

For a complete list of articles by Dr. Obenski, visit dvm360.com/obenski.