How to Project Confidence

Brian Faulkner, Bsc (Hons), BVM&S, CertGP (BPS), CertGP (SAM), MBA, MSc (Psych), MRCVS, discusses how to project confidence, and the difference between confidence and narcissism.

Interview Transcript (slightly modified for readability)

“With respect to, how can you project confidence, perhaps when you’re feeling a little intimidated in a crowd of people who seem very, very confident. What I’ll say is, most people feel that other people are more confident than them. Let’s say you walk into a cocktail party, or a crowd, and you’re the only person walking in. It can be a very intimidating thing to do. And everyone’s engaged in conversation, and you feel lost in that crowd. I think having the belief that we don’t have to fake anything, we don’t have to be too pushy, we don’t have to be wanting the center of attention. People who are genuinely confident are humble. They don’t have to sell themselves. They don’t have to push themselves. They realize that when it’s appropriate for them to contribute, that opportunity will come as opposed to constantly attention-seeking.

That’s really what narcissism is. Narcissism is about a shame-based fear of never feeling extraordinary enough. Narcissists aren’t actually that confident or superior, despite publicizing everything, usually on social media, publicizing how amazing they are. But actually, that’s a call for attention and actually it reflects as an insecurity. Whereas more wholesome, authentic confidence is about, ‘I’ll do my bit when I’m called and I’ll be humble about it. … Yes, I’ll take the platitudes in time. I’ll take the congratulations when they’re appropriate. I’ll be respectful of those. But I don’t have to seek them.’”