My veterinary practice owner gives mixed signals

My practice owner assigns tasks, and she's very hands-off as I work on projects. When I ask for feedback, she says, "You're in charge. I know you'll do great." Then, when I pass off the final project, she nitpicks and points out all the ways she would have done it differently. I'm feeling bullied here. What can I do?

Step 1: Stop and think

"This situation is frustrating for all involved, but seems to be a case of a communication breakdown as well as a difference in work approaches," says Monica Maxwell, the director of human resources at DoveLewis Emergency Animal Hospital in Portland. "First, I would try to understand that the clinic owner's feedback is not personal and she is not bullying you. This is business."

Step 2: Look both ways

"It's possible that giving feedback about a project is difficult for her until she immerses herself in the actual work," Maxwell says. While this can feel aggravating, she says it's important to remember that this is just a difference in work styles. Take some time to understand the practice owner's feedback objectively before talking with her. Your practice owner may not hear your message if you're overly emotional or defensive.

Step 3: Yield the floor

"Once you're in the right frame of mind to talk, I would sit down with her collaboratively and solicit feedback about what worked well and not so well for her on this project," Maxwell says. "Within this conversation share your own feedback. Don't get defensive or emotional. Direct communication, honesty and objectivity are key here."

Step 4: Stay flexible

From that conversation, Maxwell says you can work with your clinic owner to create a plan about how to handle projects moving forward. For example, for the next project you may check in with your owner at project milestones and review the work to date-rather than just asking for feedback-so you can change direction as needed.

"As you work on the project step by step you will get a better sense of how she works and what she looks for work product wise," Maxwell says. "This will improve your working relationship moving forward."