Offbeat: Stories of veterinary practice life

Editor's Note: DVM Newsmagazine's newest column, "Offbeat," gives veterinarians the opportunity to share stories of humor, inspiration, sadness and peculiarity that cross paths daily with veterinary medicine.

Figure 1: The first radiograph was presented to the client's fiance, who was a veterinarian. The second radiograph told the real story.

Please submit your story entries, 500 words or less, to Krista Schultz at kschultz@advanstar.com. Photos are always welcome. If selected for publication, a $150 honorarium will be provided.

CAMPBELL, CALIF. — A youngish man came into the VCA-Winchester Clinic, Campbell, Calif., when I happened to be up front discharging a patient. He introduced himself as the boyfriend of a veterinarian I didn't know, who practices at a nearby clinic, and asked if I might help him with a favor.

Drawing me aside, he showed me a torn envelope with nails of all shapes and sizes in it. I wondered if this was the beginning of the kind of morning I dread — the wackos and nuts seem to come in clumps. It had only been a few hours since a woman arrived on a bicycle with a pillowcase over her shoulder that contained a frozen snake she begged me to save.

"You see," he said, "I want to propose to her in a unique and creative way." A bunch of nails seemed very unusual to me indeed, and not particularly romantic. Romeo explained that he had bent some nails into letters, which formed a question — a marriage proposal — and he wanted me to take a radiograph of an animal with the message inside. He pulled out of the bag a piece of cardboard on which he'd glued the nails.

I realized what his proposal scheme was and it spoke to the prankster in me. Yes, of course I'd help! Present a veterinarian with a radiograph that looks like a cat is full of shrapnel in one view, then show her the next view, in which the shrapnel has organized itself into a message. And be there on bended knee with a ring box when she turns around.

So we proceeded to set it up. We selected our patient, a very mellow and rather rotund feline, and positioned him for a VD view on a plate that was prepared by scattering the nails and then covering them with a towel. Then we set up the lateral — Romeo's bent nails glued to the cardboard with the message.

He handed me the ring box, beautifully wrapped from the jeweler with a big bow.

"I can't open that!" I said. "You've got to unwrap the box yourself!" He did, and handed me a lovely ring, which I taped to the piece of cardboard after the question mark.

Romeo looked at me quizzically; he'd used a clear adhesive compound to affix the nails to the cardboard. His face said, "Hey lady, you can't use white tape over the ring!"

I explained that the ring would show in the radiograph as metal and that the tape would be invisible. Understanding spread across his face and we positioned our chubby friend for a lateral.

Romeo was thrilled with the result, and I was happy for him.

I bet the big question on all of your minds is, "Did you charge for the radiographs?" Of course!

—Submitted by Chana Einstein, DVM

VCA-Winchester Clinic

Campbell, Calif.