Those little betrayals

Mary's a customer service guru and a gossip. Lisa's a whiz with lab work, but she tends to grouch when she's pressed and running behind. These are the perfect setups for little betrayals. While these well-meaning team members may be critical to your practice's success, you feel stabbed in the back every time the bases are loaded and you really need them to hit a home run.

Instead, you hear the hurtful little rumor circulating about your filing skills or end up on the wrong end of Lisa's barbed tongue on a busy Monday. That's no way to work.

The truth is, you may have little control over someone else's behavior. But you can impress others with your own. You've heard the term, "Grace under fire." I always like to imagine Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis at these times. My mantra: "Just be like Jackie O."

Now, I'm not saying you have to put up with this bad behavior—if you've evaluated the situation and action is warranted, head straight for your manager. Or have that fierce conversation with the team member who's giving you grief (see "Confront the Elephant" ). But it's always a good idea to be the calm, reasoned one in every situation. You'll be admired and others will want to be with you—or be like you.

This isn't easy. If you're a manager or team leader, it might mean restraining your temper when an employee circumvents you to ask another manager for advice—after you already offered up your recommendations. If you're a team member, it might mean you give grouchy Lisa a free pass every so often when everyone's stressed. And if it's only a little betrayal—something that doesn't hurt anyone and you'll shrug off when your temper cools—it's probably a good idea to take a few deep breaths. Then you can respond like the true professional you are—even when that means you must confront a co-worker about his or her behavior.

Believe me, I know it's no fun to have that sick feeling of betrayal. And you need to take action to restore good feelings and rebuild trust, if possible. Just remember to stay poised and you'll earn more respect from everyone you work with.

Portia Stewart, Editor

firstline@advanstar.com