Co-workers from hell

We've all known one—a nightmare co-worker who gets under our skin, disrupts our workday, and sends the rest of the team running when her footsteps ring down the hall. You may be tempted to duck into the nearest exam room—or supply closet—just to avoid her. Irritating co-workers are part of the work world, yet learning to work effectively with difficult peers sets true professionals apart from run-of-the-mill employees. Here we take a look at five common, and problematic, workplace personalities and give expert advice to help you handle them.

Illustration by Darryl Shelton

Kate the Complainer

Kate could win the lottery and find the downside. Her negative attitude drags everyone down.

WHAT NOT TO SAY, EVEN IF YOU'RE THINKING IT: "Does anything ever make you happy? My 3-year-old doesn't whine as much as you do."

WHAT YOU CAN DO: Start by observing Kate. What's her workload like? Does anyone ever compliment Kate? Does Kate have personal problems that might account for her crankiness? Trying to understand the reason for Kate's negativity helps you respond with compassion.

Next, ask to speak to Kate alone, and practice a nonthreatening approach. "Her problem could have nothing to do with work," says Jane Larson, hospital administrator at Georgesville Road Animal Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. "It might be a death in the family, an illness, or marital problems. If you approach this person with accusations, you could make things worse."

Instead, Larson suggests, tell Kate how important she is to the team. Give a compliment and offer your help and support. You might say, "I've noticed that you don't like the way we take appointments, and I wonder what you'd suggest." Be specific about Kate's complaints and allow her to voice her thoughts. Avoid using the word "you" if possible because it sets an accusing tone. Instead, stick with "I" statements.

WHEN TO GO TO THE BOSS: If talking to Kate doesn't work, speak with the boss privately. Don't whine, and be sure to phrase your concern in terms of how the issue affects the workplace. You might say, "I've noticed that Kate seems frustrated. I'm concerned that it's affecting the team."

Tell your boss how you've tried to solve the situation on your own, then leave it alone. Now it's between Kate and the boss.

Party Patrick

Patrick is fun, easygoing, and has a great sense of humor. Trouble is, sometimes Patrick jokes at inappropriate moments, and your team ends up looking bad in front of clients.

WHAT NOT TO SAY TO PATRICK, NO MATTER HOW WELL MEANING: "Quit being such a wise guy, Patrick. Haven't you noticed that we've got clients in the waiting room?"

WHAT YOU CAN DO: Usually people like Patrick simply aren't aware of what's going on around them. Pull Patrick aside and gently explain the sensitivity of the situation. You might say, "Hey Patrick, we need to bring it down a notch. Mrs. Smith is making a decision about euthanizing Fluffy." Again, don't say "you"—try "we" instead to include yourself in the statement. If this situation happens often, consider ways to spread the word as delicate cases develop so team members know when extra sensitivity is required. For example, if you have an intercom, use a phrase such as "code Q" to quickly spread the news that a euthanasia or serious situation is developing in the practice, says Debbie Gair, CVPM, a consultant and communications expert with Bridging the Gap in Sparta, Mich. This way, staff members know to be on their best behavior.

"Our practice is very relaxed, and most of our clients are friends, so it's easy to be casual," Larson says. "But there are situations where you should not be casual." A client with a critically ill pet, for example, might not be too impressed with a wisecracking team member at the front counter—she might worry that you'll apply the same casual attitude to her pet's welfare.

WHEN TO TAKE IT TO THE BOSS: If Patrick continues to goof off in front of clients, remember that he thrives on attention. So when you approach the boss, don't pick on Patrick. Instead, explain that you've noticed a lack of professionalism in front of clients and suggest some solutions, such as reminding everyone about appropriate office behavior at the next staff meeting.

Gary the Gossip

Gary has his hand on the pulse. He knows it all, from the details of the messy custody battle over Felix the Cat to who's trying to get pregnant. And he's anxious to spread his knowledge like an infectious disease.

WHAT NOT TO SAY TO GARY, EVEN IF YOU'RE JUST BEING POLITE: "Really, Gary, that's interesting," or, "Oh, I didn't know that."

WHAT YOU CAN DO: Set boundaries with Gary at the start of a conversation. For example, you might say, "I'm sorry Gary, I can't talk about that." To cause problems, a gossip needs an active listener who participates in the conversation. If no one listens to Gary, there's no payoff.

8 tips for handling difficult co-workers

WHEN TO TAKE IT TO THE BOSS: If the rumor mill affects practice operations, talk to the boss. Like Party Patrick, a gossip doesn't work in isolation, so don't complain about Gary. Instead, explain that the team has a problem with rumors and that the white noise is distracting team members from the practice's mission.

Lazy Linda

Linda would rather watch her nail polish dry than answer a phone. When a stack of medical charts needs to be filed, Linda's often missing in action. Worst of all, you have to step in to fill the gap.

WHAT NOT TO SAY TO LINDA, EVEN IF YOU DREAM ABOUT IT AT NIGHT: "Do you hear that phone ringing? I'm sick of picking up your slack. Get with the program!"

WHAT YOU CAN DO: Open the door for communication—and don't label Linda because you don't feel she's pulling her weight. "Using the word lazy indicates you've made a judgement about the situation. It's your point of view, not necessarily what is," Gair says. There are many reasons people might seem lazy. Perhaps they weren't adequately trained and they don't understand where to jump in, or maybe the manager didn't establish clear expectations.

When you're ready to talk, you'll pull Linda aside and say, "It seems like we just can't get everything done by closing time. What do you think the problem is? Can we divide up tasks more efficiently?" This way you've given Linda a chance to explain her point of view. You're also forcing her to share responsibility for finding a solution to the problem.

WHEN TO GO TO THE BOSS: If your work assignments or job expectations seem unclear, take your concerns to the boss. Explain that the team isn't completing tasks because they're confused about who's responsible for what. If Linda really is the problem, don't criticize or get personal. Simply explain that Linda doesn't seem to understand her duties. Would the boss mind clarifying each person's responsibilities?

Meltdown Mary

Mary is nice enough to work with, but she falls to pieces in stressful situations. When clients get backed up, your stomach tightens just waiting for Mary to erupt.

WHAT NOT TO SAY TO MELTDOWN MARY, EVEN IF IT WOULD LOWER YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE: "Pull yourself together, Mary! I don't have time to deal with you!"

WHAT YOU CAN DO: "Recognize that everyone responds differently to pressure," Gair says. "Some thrive, and some barely survive." Then try to find out what's really getting to your co-worker, Gair advises. Perhaps when the practice gets busy Mary worries that she's not doing her job perfectly. Perhaps she does better with a few specific tasks during high-pressure times. Ask Mary if she needs help. Is she having trouble prioritizing? Probe to uncover the problem and offer your support.

WHEN TO TAKE IT TO THE BOSS: If Mary continues to self-destruct, talk to the boss. But remember, this isn't personal. Tell the boss how you've tried to help, and give suggestions. You might say, "When we're swamped Mary's not sure what to focus on first. Could you help us set priorities?"

The Kates, Patricks, Garys, Lindas, and Marys of the workplace may seem difficult, but these situations give you a chance to transform pain-in-the-you-know-what colleagues into helpful co-workers. Isn't that a great reward?

Heather Kirkwood is a freelance writer in Overland Park, Kan. Send questions or comments to firstline@advanstar.com.