Don't confuse stress with fear

Imagine that you are at the gym bench-pressing more weight than you ever have before.

There's no one to help you and you feel your arms weakening and you justknow that that weight is going to collapse on your chest doing you a heapof harm.

Maybe it's not at the gym that this feeling of dread hits you. Maybeit's at your practice and appointments are just not what they should be.The 10th of the month is almost here and you didn't quite pay all the billslast month and now another stack is sitting on your desk. This economy isnot the most robust we've seen.

Non-existent

Do you believe yourself to be stressed out? No you are not! Stress doesnot exist. It is a fiction made up in 1936. Before that, no one had everheard of stress. Yet, this non-entity is at epic proportions today, accordingto all the supermarket medical journals. Its symptoms are rapid heart rate,neck tension, lower back pain, headaches, loss of interest in dancing thehorizontal mambo, tummy aches and insomnia. You can add crying to that ifyou wish.

What people today call stress is nothing more than flat out fear, ourmost primitive emotion whose roots lie secreted in our amygdalae waitingto burst out, preparing us for fight or flight.

Call it what it is

Why don't we call it fear? That's because we are supposed to be adultsand our society does not condone crying and running to our mommies. Kidsnever say they are anxious about ghosts or thunderstorms. Kids react byseeking a very expedient consultation with mom or dad or by facing theirfears and diminishing their effect, learning to handle them by watchingscary movies.

Adults don't face their fears too often and push them to the back oftheir minds, where they subconsciously play havoc with our bodily systems.

Successful entrepreneurs wrestle their fears every day. They recognizethat they are but fears and probably, with good management, will not cometo pass.

Practitioners who face remodeling, take on another associate, build anew building or whatever poses a challenge for them know that the biggerthe challenge, the more fear is going to show up. They accept that fearas the price of real accomplishment, not a disease or a sign of failurethat must be avoided at all costs. If we always need to avoid fear, thenwe will never take the steps that set us a cut above the herd.

Just admit it

To avoid the physical effects of fear, you just have to admit to beingscared. It's not a sign of weakness but a precursor to success and a callfor courage.

There are only two kinds of fears: The fear that you are not good enoughto get the surgery done or the practice built or good enough for the spousethat you love; and the other is that you are going to screw up the practice,the surgical procedure, or just lose all control. These two fears underliewhat all of us today, think of as stress.

You are a rational, educated reader. Think! The fight or flight systemintrinsic to all of us is there for a purpose. It was designed to alertus to a danger, create a proportionate response and then shut down. A frightenedrabbit runs but when one of us is afraid, we obsess about it and complainthat we are stressed. We leave our built-in alarm system clanging away.No wonder we get headaches, not to mention cramps and all the other signsof fear.

Reach out

The healthy response is to do what kids do; reach out to others for support.Do that and you will live longer and get through whatever scares you withoutdestroying your health. You'll be a more effective practice leader and achievemore of the high-powered goals you have set for yourself to stretch yourselfas a human being and a practice manager.

While the heroic values of stoicism and independence are great, yourpsyche really needs to draw strength from others. Identify your fears andfind people who can help you deal with them. All of the consultants in thispublication and others in our profession had any or all of the fears youmay be having and had to deal with them by using mentors or other consultants.I know none that would ever refuse to speak to a colleague in need.

Those of us who saw military service know that it is perfectly normalto be scared bowel-less at times. It is normal. It is fear, not stress.You only make it stress when you refuse to share it with those who can helpyou.

Get help

Don't be another statistic. Dozens of veterinarians I have known haveopted for suicide, either directly or through drugs. The bumper stickersays it well. Hugs are better than drugs. Use an ally to gain strength againstthe only enemy worth fighting: your fear.