Navigating different client types as their pet's journey nears its end

As the General Manager of Caring Pathways and a veterinarian who has walked alongside countless families in their pets’ final chapters, I’ve learned that no 2 clients are the same. Each family approaches this profound moment with their own emotions, expectations, and coping mechanisms. Understanding these differences is crucial for providing compassionate and tailored support during such a tender time.

The planner

Planners often want to understand every detail of what’s to come. They ask thoughtful questions about the process, logistics, and next steps. These clients find comfort in preparation, and the focus on planning helps them regain some sense of control during an uncontrollable time.

How to support them

• Provide clear explanations of what they might be able to expect with regards to disease progressions or other insightful information surrounding their pet and any unique circumstances.
• Offer resources such as quality of life (QOL) scales, daily QOL tracking calendars, or other helpful materials they can review at their own pace.
• Ensure that they understand all their options leading up to their pet’s final life stage, including in-home hospice care and in-home euthanasia. Providing recommendations to in-home end-of-life companies that you trust can go a long way in demonstrating to these clients that you have the best interest of both client and patient in mind.
• Acknowledge and normalize potential anticipatory grief. It can cause hyper-fixation on details and meticulous following of instructions and, while this can be helpful, it may also feel overwhelming at times for the individual.

Caring Pathways Gina Singleton, DVM creates space for Koa's owner during a Quality of Life Assessment. (Images courtesy of Caring Pathways)

For planners, knowledge is empowering. Anticipating their questions and proactively addressing them fosters trust and reduces their anxiety.

The emotional heart

These clients wear their emotions openly, and their love for their pet is palpable in every word and tear. Their grief begins long before the final appointment, and they may need extra reassurance that they’re making the right decision.

How to support them

• Listen with patience and empathy, letting them share their feelings without interruption. Setting aside longer appointment times to give these families the time they need and deserve is a helpful practice.
• If your clinic is unable to accommodate longer appointment times to discuss quality of life, consider a referral to a practice that specializes in end-of-life care and that can offer extended QOL discussions via TeleAdvice or in the client’s home.
• Reaffirm their decision is out of love and selflessness, and allow space for them to express emotions and offer comforting words to validate their grief.

A compassionate presence is invaluable to emotional hearts, helping them feel seen, heard, and supported during this vulnerable time.

The stoic

Stoics approach their pet’s end-of-life with a calm, composed demeanor. While they may appear detached, this is often their way of managing overwhelming emotions. Stoics might focus on practicalities and avoid showing visible signs of grief.

How to support them

• Respect their need for composure, and avoid pushing them to share emotions they may not be ready to express.
• Focus on practical support, such as compassionately discussing aftercare options or addressing logistical questions.
• Gently remind them that your team is there for emotional support if and when they need it. Having resources on hand like a Grief Support Specialist or certified counselor that you can refer them to is another way to show support to these clients who may be ready to open up with a professional down the road.

Patience and quiet understanding allow stoics to process grief on their own terms, knowing they have a safety net if needed.

The guilt-stricken

Clients experiencing guilt often wrestle with the timing of their decision. They may question whether they’re acting too soon or late, and their words often reflect inner conflict, such as “Am I doing the right thing?” or “How do I know if it’s too early/too late?”

How to support them

• Reassure them that choosing a peaceful end is an act of profound love and kindness.
• Share objective insights about their pet’s quality of life to help them feel confident in their decision. Using QOL scales can aid in this process.
• Let them know that guilt is a natural emotion and that their love for their pet is evident in their care and thoughtfulness.

A compassionate reminder that they are prioritizing their pet’s comfort can help alleviate their guilt and give them peace of mind.

A grieving owner holds her recently deceased companion's head following an in-home euthanasia

The silent griever

Silent grievers process emotions internally and may not outwardly display grief. They often prioritize their pet’s comfort over their own feelings, appearing stoic even in deeply emotional moments.

How to support them

• Offer a quiet presence and reassurance without forcing conversation.
• Provide opportunities for them to ask questions or share feelings if they choose.
• Respect their need for silence, while reminding them of the resources available to support them.

Sometimes, simply sitting with them in compassionate silence can be the greatest gift.

The support-seeker

Support-seekers often look to their veterinarian and the care team for emotional guidance and validation. They may rely heavily on your expertise and perspective to navigate this challenging time.

How to support them

• Provide emotional reassurance and share stories of other families who have walked a similar path.
• Emphasize that they are not alone and that your team is there for them every step of the way.
• Suggest grief resources, self-help books, or support groups if they express a need for it.

For these clients, the bond they share with your team can be a powerful source of comfort and strength.

In conclusion

Every pet parent’s journey is deeply personal, shaped by the unique relationship with their beloved companion. As care providers, it’s the veterinary team's responsibility to meet them where they are, adapting approaches to suit individual needs. Doing so will help them remember the passing of their beloved pet with fondness, as opposed to the alternative, because they felt supported by their professional team.

Caring Pathways holds space for each client’s emotions and decisions, ensuring they feel supported and respected. By offering empathy, understanding, and unwavering care, we can help families navigate this heart-wrenching time with grace and love, knowing they are not alone in their journey.

In the end, the goal is to honor not only the lives of the pets we care for but also the relationships they shared with their families. This is the heart of our mission, and it’s what makes our work so meaningful.