Life balance: How to keep your flame burning

As a veterinarian, you're required to be many things to many people. You're a devoted medical caretaker for patients. You're an advisor and support system for clients. And on many days you're an impromptu counselor, working closely with pet owners who are filled with grief at the thought of losing the animal members of their families.

With such an important mission, you can expect to feel overwhelmed. You're spending your inner energy reserves maintaining your professionalism, proving your medical competence, and getting along with your team day in, day out. But you may be spending so much of yourself on your job that you forget about the other things in life you hold dear. This results in compassion fatigue—the feeling that you've given it your all and have no more to share.

Compassion fatigue can happen to anyone, but beware its more sinister companion: burnout. If your work has become too much, it's time to explore the problem—and seek solutions. Turn your attention back to the other parts of your life to reinvigorate and sustain your work in your practice. You may even know some of these strategies already. Let this be a reminder to actually use them.

EXPLORING THE PROBLEM

Compassion fatigue can leave you—and team members—feeling irritable, incompetent, despairing, and hopeless. In the throes of soul-sucking compassion fatigue, you may dread coming to work, experience sleeplessness or nightmares at night, or be plagued by flashbacks of traumatic events at the clinic. You may lose interest in the activities you used to enjoy. The fact is that compassion fatigue is quite common in medical fields, including veterinary medicine. Strangely enough, it's your love that puts you at risk. In one study, volunteers and veterinary professionals who loved their jobs and the work they did turned out to be most at risk.

Inherent in the treatment of pets and their human family members is the fact that patients and clients can be quite needy. You've experienced both sides. An animal whose diagnosis is particularly difficult, and its owner who calls three or more times a day to ask for updates. Unfortunately, the owner also vents for 20 minutes about fears about the pet's health and frustrations at your inability to find the problem and fix it. You're polite, but calls like these become frustrating over days and weeks of difficult cases.

Patients and pet owners can overuse your nurturing capacities. The remedy is to set appropriate boundaries and acknowledge the struggles between what you want to do and what you can do. In the example above, the veterinarian could affirm the pet owner's fears but remind her that time spent talking is time that could be used to take care of the patient. Setting limits is crucial for you to maintain your sanity as well as your enthusiasm for your job.

FINDING ANSWERS

When you start to notice signs of burnout, stress, or compassion fatigue—apathy, continual sadness, blaming, or unusual temper flare-ups—you need to separate yourself from the emotional triggers in your work life and seek experiences that generate hope and comfort. Find the time and space to treasure vacations, respect family commitments, and take care of your own personal needs.

So what does this "separation" look like? It can be something as simple as changing clothes when you come home from work. You'll immediately feel your stress level start to subside. Take your dog for a walk, play with your child, work out, or read your favorite newspaper or nonveterinary magazine. Develop a ritual that signals to you that your work day is done and it's time for you.

Here's another strategy you can employ before you even walk out the clinic door for the night. When you clear your desk and put things away for the evening, stay conscious of your thoughts and tell yourself you're also "putting away" the stress of the day. Remember that your desk, computer, and patient charts will all be there in the morning. Lock up your office or the clinic door for the night and put the workday to rest. As you leave the building and hear the door shut behind you, you'll be releasing more stress.

Employ the sort of visualization that professional athletes use to perfect their performance. As you leave the practice for the night, start thinking about your free time at home and imagine the activities you'll enjoy there. As you drive, think positive thoughts about home and try to make those images vivid and brighter.

Here's an example of a ritual developed by one of your veterinary colleagues. This doctor crosses a bridge to and from work each day. So in the evening, she gathers up all of the psychic and emotional "garbage" she's accumulated that day, puts it in a bag (a real bag), and just before driving across the bridge, she stops at a fast food restaurant and throws away her day's "garbage" in a trash can. This ritual helps her return home unburdened and able to truly enjoy her evening. When you program similar rituals into your life, you empower yourself to let go of worries and stress and focus on regenerating your energies.

As helpful as they are, however, separation rituals won't prevent stress and burnout on their own. You also need to make time for the things you enjoy. Focus on personal hobbies. Reignite interpersonal connections and relationships that inspire, encourage, and excite you. Get involved in community activities and groups that improve the quality of life for your fellow citizens.

MAKING THE CHANGE

Regardless of how you keep work at bay, it's important to turn some of that attention you use to care for others into caring for yourself. Learn to be kind to yourself. When you take appropriate care of yourself, you'll be healthier and more energetic over the long haul.

Always remember that you're doing important work. You contribute to people's well-being and care for patients that can't ever tell you, in words, how much they appreciate you and your profession.

Coping with compassion fatigue

No single strategy will be effective in managing all of life's challenges. It takes creative thinking and dedication. Here's an example:

Michelle always gave her husband, Daniel, a hard time when he was late coming home from the clinic. She knew he had to work emergencies, but she was irritated when dinners were overcooked or cold and the children were overtired, waiting for Daddy to come home. She nagged and complained so much that Daniel almost hated to come home at all. Here's how he fixed things:

First, Daniel picked three days a week when he wouldn't be on call and Michelle could expect him home in time for dinner. Michelle cut down on the complaining. Second, Daniel started calling home as he left work to let Michelle know when she could expect him home. Finally, Daniel began to express his appreciation for everything Michelle did to keep the family going. He also brought his kids to work to show them his lateness wasn't because he was mad at them—they were just emergencies! Over time, the prickly feelings went away.

Need balance?

Here are some suggestions for ways to think and actions to take to improve your work-life balance:

Prioritize at work to accomplish what's important in your personal life. Set aside 15 minutes at lunch to return personal calls and e-mails.

Foster cooperation to allow for flex time. For example, when Joan has to meet with a teacher at her son's school, Carol stays late for Joan. Joan returns the favor when Carol wants to leave early to get her hair cut. This takes care of many practice scheduling problems.

Stop stepping on toes. Are job responsibilities clearly defined? Do team members sometimes feel that colleagues are stepping on their toes by taking over responsibilities and criticizing them for their lack of efficiency or competence? Help to "clear the air" with a little time at staff meetings to hear complaints without fear of retribution or blame. Negotiate agreements that honor mutual values and goals and show employees that they are heard.

Remind yourself of your positive intentions, goals, and purpose. Keep your spirits up, and be your own best cheerleader. Recite positive affirmations like "Keep your eyes on the prize" and "Don't sweat the small stuff; it's all small stuff."

Jill Cody, MA, LCPC, is a licensed clinical professional counselor in Frederick, Md. Send comments to ve@advanstar.com.