Quiz: Are you over it?

Famously jaded and handsomely weathered Indiana Jones once said that it's not the years, honey, it's the mileage. And though you may know how many chronological years you've been in the profession, just how many miles have you logged? Enter: The Jaded Vet Quiz. Below are ten questions which, depending on your answers, will tell you your level of weariness with the practice of veterinary medicine. Keep track of your answers; every (a) is 1 point, every (b) is 2 points, every (c) is 3 points and every (d) is 4 points.

No, there is no CE for this quiz. 

1. Eight-year-old, spayed female pit bull comes in for coughing and is diagnosed heartworm positive. The clients say how much they LOVE the dog and that they have raised her since puppyhood. What do you think they will do after this diagnosis?

a) pursue heartworm treatment

b) "think about treating" after being given an estimate

c) euthanize

d) leave with handouts and never return

2. You have an important family event to attend after work. A half-hour before closing, a client notorious for being late to appointments, calls to say he's only "five minutes away" and his pet is very sick. You ...

a) tell him you'll be there and stay late if necessary to take care of the pet

b) tell him to come on in, after all, he's only five minutes away and you should have plenty of time to still take care of the problem

c) explain to him that due to the lateness of the day, he would be better off just heading to the nearest emergency clinic

d) notice the caller ID and pretend you're the answering machine

3. The car you drive is:

a) the same one you drove in school

b) the same one you drove in school

c) the same one you drove in school

d) less than ten years old

4. A new client presents her nine-year-old male, neutered, adorable Shih-tzu with coughing, sneezing, diarrhea, anorexia, vomiting, limping, pruritus, and bilateral ear infections. She really wants to pursue treatment and make everything better but is limited on funds and isn't qualified for third-party payment plans. When she asks if she can post-date checks for the next five weeks, you respond:

a) "Yes, of course! Whatever it takes to make sure the pet gets treated."

b) By having the dog signed over to you and take responsibility for treatment.

c) By treating what you can with what she's able to afford.

d) By electing not to pursue diagnostics or treatments until she can pay in full.

5. During your veterinary career you have had to call the police to your clinic:

a) zero times

b) once

c) 2-5 times

d) more than 5 times

6. A client is arguing with you and says, "I'm not a veterinarian..." What word or phrase follows?

a) You can't get past understanding why a client would be arguing with you in the first place.

b) Sounds like a complete sentence to me.

c) "But"

d) You don't know, because you've interrupted them before they can finish and say, "That's right."

7. A potentially complicated case is presented to you. What do you expect to happen?

a) You'll explain the severity of the situation to the client well enough that they will let you do everything you need to do to treat the pet appropriately.

b) You chuckle knowingly at answer (a)

c) The client agrees to let you do one test.

d) The clients wants to just give medications and treat symptomatically.

8. In giving information to an owner about a given disease process…

a) You schedule a time to go over in detail the treatment process and expectations both short-term and long-term. You give handouts to the owner, make sure all their questions are answered, have your staff repeat the information to them, schedule recalls and rechecks, and emphasize for them to call with any other concerns or questions as things progress.

b) You tell the owner the basics of the problem, treatment options and what to expect, have your technician review the plan with them, and tell the owner to schedule rechecks.

c) You describe the problem, potential diagnostics and treatments in the simplest, easiest way possible.

d) To avoid being sued, you do (a) above.

9. After you have spend a great deal of time in educating the owner on the problem, what happens?

a) The client has good follow-up questions that allow you to better promote their understanding, they thank you for all of your time and effort, and start treatment immediately.

b) Clients says they will start treatment.

c) Client goes on the Internet and wants you to answer why you didn't offer the parsley-turmeric treatment which is cheaper and has no side effects.

d) Client asks: "How much is it going to cost?"

10. What best describes your approach to medical situations throughout a day?

a) You reference your books for just about every case and write up a very complete differential list for each problem.

b) You reference your books for complicated cases only.

c) What books?

d) You reference constantly because you realize you've forgotten more than you'll ever know.

Now, tally up your points and find out where you rank! >>>>>>

Have your total ready? If you scored... 

10 points: 

It's your first year out of school.

Awww, so cute and blissfully unaware of what's to come!

11-20 points

You're 2-10 years out of school.

I am beginning to be over it.

21-30 points

You've reached your mid-career nervous breakdown.

I swear, one more freaking client is going to put me over the edge.

31-39 points

People start telling you to take things one day at a time.

I'm lost in a sea of crappy Yelp reviews.

40 points

You are officially jaded. Time to retire!

I couldn't be more over it if I tried.