Interview with a horsefly

Wednesday, July 5th 1989

Jeb White walked to the mailbox. On the side of the box, he noticed a very large black horsefly rubbing its front feet together. As he opened the door, two large brown wasps exited and swayed momentarily in the air like small helicopters. They threatened briefly, then gained speed and moved on. Jeb's hair bristled and his chest hurt a bit.

"Stinkin' bugs," he muttered.

Inside among the junk mail was a small envelope. He looked and it was handwritten — a good sign. The return address had a DVM near the left corner — another good sign.

He opened the letter and noticed that his heart was still hurting a bit. He drew a big breath and the pain diminished. Inside was a brief letter stating that Jane Sanders, DVM would be in the area. Jeb put a job announcement in JAVMA in May and this was his second inquiry. The first came and went. That young man had wanted only small animal work. It appears that Jane is willing to do large animal work but was not raised on a farm.

"A girl? This is first time I have had interest from a lady!"

"I knew that there were more females entering school, but..."

Is there a shortage of veterinarians?

Jeb mused a little longer and managed to walk into a chair that had been pulled out away from the counter. He didn't quite know how to react.

Tuesday July 11th, 1989

Jane walked into the small office and looked around. She liked what she saw. She wanted a country setting, and this fit the bill as far as the front office was concerned. There were posters without frames up in various places covering some health issues. She walked over and looked at one concerning shipping fever and another one on mastitis. Pig and cattle medications were on display near the front door. The smell of a dispensary was ripe. To Jane it meant that she had escaped her roots: the city rat race.

Jane was not married and ready to settle down in small town America.

"Howdy, can I help you?" Mary Ellen White grinned from behind the counter.

"Hello. I am Jane Sanders. I would like to talk to the owner."

Mary Ellen's countenance changed.

"Are you one of those new lady drug reps?"

"Oh, no I am a veterinarian and would like to talk to the veterinarians here about a job."

Mary Ellen froze for a second, excused herself, went to the back and quickly padded into the office.

"Jeb was reading 'Prairie Farmer.' " He still had his boots on from a farm call early in the morning.

"There is a new vet up front and I think it is a girl!" his wife exclaimed in bewilderment.

Jane's epilogue

Jeb hired Jane Sanders over his wife's misgivings. As it turned out within a few short years Jane would become one of the best food animal veterinarians in the county. Jane could get her arms and torso into areas where Jeb's big maws and frame could scarcely squeeze.

Jane married and raised two small sons. After five years her husband was transferred to another state and Jane moved on.

Jeb began an earnest search for Dr. Sanders. He placed an ad in JAVMA and called the veterinary school and talked to an old classmate on staff at the university. Nothing happened. Practice life went on albeit within a gradually diminishing pace that was imperceptible to both Mary Ellen and Jeb.

July 5th 2004, 7:33 a.m.

Mary Ellen White looked at yesterday's mess. Molly, the part-time receptionist, worked yesterday and wasn't as particular about the orderly arrangement of things.

"The younger kids just don't seem to care", she sniffed to herself.

Jeb was in his office with a mound of papers in front of him.

He turned his head and hollered in the general direction of Mary Ellen. "Has Molly taught you anything yet about this darn Internet stuff? I just don't seem to get it to work." His wail thumped through three concrete walls.

Molly was a bit sloppy but seemed to know everything about computers, e-mails, the Internet and a foreign piece of equipment she called an IPOD.

Mary Ellen's back was hurting, and she whispered to herself that this daily grind has to end sometime. It seems that people come and go but in the end is really just Jeb and me.

Molly walked to the office.

Jeb looked up in utter surprise.

"We have had our ad out there for more than a year now and nothing."

He went on: "I just called Jim Frailey at the university. He says that he is in the slow process of cleaning out his desk. He is retiring. I was really calling him up to find out what is going on at the university. He gave me an earful. When I got around to asking him where all the students were going, he told me that they are almost all staying close to the cities and that they don't read the JAVMA much. They are online looking for jobs—especially jobs that pay well with a mentoring system in place."

Jeb paused.

"I didn't have a clue as to what he was talking about. Maybe I need to change my approach," he mused.

Jeb sighed and twisted his aching back. "Nobody wants to do real veterinary medicine anymore."

Dave's interview with a horsefly

Dave: What is your full name?

"Jerry the Horsefly."

Have you lived near the Whites' veterinary clinic for some time?

"Yes, in the back barn. We have a summer home in their mailbox."

Is Jeb White clueless?

"Certainly."

Is his story far fetched?

"Oh, no— I'll quit biting people at swimming holes if there aren't a multitude of veterinarians at the end of their careers who have kept up with veterinary medicine but have not kept up with American culture — just like Jeb."

Will this keep these practitioners from hiring young veterinarians? "Yes."

Will this keep these practitioners from selling their practices?

"Yes."

Why are your answers so short?

"Horseflies mince meat not words."

Is there a shortage of veterinarians?

"There is a shortage of full-time equivalent veterinarians and specialists."

How can this be?

"There are an increasing number of veterinarians who want to work part time—of both genders."

What about specialists?

"They are in demand and are receiving compensation based on the immutable laws of supply and demand."

Is there a misdistribution of veterinarians?

"Yes."

Explain please?

"They are going to the coasts and suburbia."

Why is this a misdistribution?

"Because the majority of existing practices are not suburban — at least for the time being (or until they close without a successor)."

I feel ridiculous interviewing a fly.

"You should."

Wait a minute. What makes you an expert?

"Millions of my family members have lived in this county for a few hundred years ever since Europeans set foot in this part of the world and started putting livestock in barns. We became alarmed about 70 years ago with so many tractors replacing horses. We have been watching veterinarians ever since. We are getting a bit worried."

How can you have all of this information in your brain?

"Big brains come in small packages. Haven't you observed that small dogs are often smarter than big dogs—even though their brains are a fraction of the size and weight? Our brain and nervous system account for a huge percentage of our somatic mass."

Yes, but how do you know this specific information?

"When we drink blood we acquire the DNA memory sequences from the organism we attack. We are parasitic. In addition we act a little like a portable memory stick that you attach and detach from your computers."

How is that possible?

"You are asking a religious question now. I flew into church once following some cow manure on the heel of a cowboy boot. I heard a sermon, and it seemed to make sense."

Let's get back to veterinary medicine. What about veterinary specialists? Are there enough?

"No."

How are we going to provide the specialists we need in the near future?

"You aren't."

Why not?

"Veterinary schools are in financial crisis; there isn't not enough dough to retain the specialists they create and support the residencies needed."

Will we be able to train specialists in the private sector?

"They say they will but the private sector is based on expense and profit. Most specialists are on commission. Thus, there is no financial incentive to teach in the private sector because who pays the specialist while the student learns?"

Yes, but this is how the system works in human medicine. Insurance and government pay enough to keep the programs going. Residents are paid a pittance, but there is big-time payoff at the end. The way things are going, it won't hold up long term. OK back to general practice. How can we solve the veterinary shortage in the middle of the country and outside of suburbia?

"Mentoring, high salaries, no emergencies and lots of time to grow without being exposed to high demand cases right away will do just fine."

How is that possible?

A highly cooperative network of local and regional veterinary practices that is willing to share the high burden of personnel and high level equipment costs.

Will this be difficult?

"Very, but not impossible. Gotta go."

What is the rush?

"Gotta go. The pupae have all hatched and they are up to speed for moving. Most of my cousins are flying to Colorado where we hear that there is a great feedlot.

Are you heading for Colorado?

"Nope, our small family of 9 million (give or take a few thousand) are heading over to the other side of the county — there is a new Amish community there with a lot of horseflesh and big swimming hole where we can pick up some interesting information along with some of that red stuff."

Do you have any last comments for DVM Newsmagazine readers?

"I think I can speak for my fellow flies everywhere; we would like to see the eventual return of outdoor privies."

Dr. Lane is a graduate of the University of Illinois. He owns and manages two practices in southern Illinois. Dr. Lane completed a master's degree in agricultural economics in 1996. He is a speaker and author of numerous practice management articles. Dr. Lane also offers a broad range of consulting services and can be reached at david.lane@mchsi.com.

David M. Lane, DVM, MS